RECAP: Saint John’s beat Marquette 67-51 in Wisconsin Wednesday night. It was an ugly if workmanlike victory. As usually happens when Saint John’s plays lousy opponents, they played lousy. But to the extent that it wasn’t much of a game after the first 15 minutes that I suppose is a good sign. At least they put away an obviously inferior opponent and closed it out on the road and I mean, they probably have other things on their minds – there’s a vicious beating by Villanova on the horizon, and then the BE tournament on their home floor they’d like to not bollox up completely, and then the chance for the seniors to not only to play in their first NCAA tournament game but to be the first Saint John’s team to win an NCAA tournament game since the Jarvae’s team beat Northern Arizona in 2000. Whereas Marquette has only won 3 games since New Year’s Eve and had been for the most part been getting stomped while doing so and even with Wojo the floor slapping dope prowling the sidelines were probably pretty hard to take seriously … The numbers reflect the game: both teams were awful. Saint John’s shot 40 percent from the floor, 50 percent from the three (they’re close to 50 percent from three as a team since the Georgetown loss) and a terrifying 52 percent from the FT line, where they’re now 62-103 over their last four. This does not bode well moving forward and especially going into the tournament, where games are not called like rugby matches. Marquette shot worse: 34 percent from the floor, 28 percent from three and 38 percent from the FT line. That’s right, 38 percent, most of that the fault of big white doofus Luke Fischer. For some reason the announcers were drooling over him most of the game – I didn’t see the appeal. The rest of the numbers were nearly identical:

OR 13/13, DR 28/29, AST 15/12, ST 8/8, BLK 5/7, TO 13/14, PF 13/14

… If you subscribe like I do to the notion that where Lavin is concerned every decision is a mistake this sort of game was right up the great and powerful alley. All he had to do was pick 5 players, roll the balls out, and start clapping his hands and jumping up and down. There was none of that troubling thinking to be done, no logic to be applied, no problem solving skills needed. In that regard although 20 years old Baron Davis’s words ring prescient: We should have a banner up there: the only team to make the tournament without a coach. Only one thing troubled me last night and that was Lavin’s complexion. When I first notice it several games ago I thought maybe it was pancake make-up but now I’m thinking it’s some sort of spray on tan. The orange sheen is off putting and gives him the pallor of a space villain on Star Trek. Monasch was sitting behind the bench and he looked normal in comparison and he’s an oompah loompah.

PLAYERS: Jordan had 25 points on 11 shots (including 5 for 9 from three) all of them in rhythm and in the flow of the game. He, Dunn and Billy Garrett Jr. comprise a pretty nice trio of sophomore guards. In the old days you’d look forward to seeing them battle each other for four years. Nowadays you wonder in they’ll play another four years between the three of them in their college careers … The Unicorn had a near triple double: 11 points, 13 rebounds and 7 assists. Had a very nice flop in the first half that drew an offensive foul, but if he’s looking to make Sportscenter again like the last time he threw himself to the ground he’s going to have to work harder than that …. Harrison was 2 for 9 in the first half and 5 for 7 in the second to finish with 21 points. The second was the first half in a while where he looked like himself … Phil Greene had 11 points on 13 shots and is 15 for 36 (40 %) from the floor over his past three games. It’s fair to note that Phil doesn’t play well west of the Mississippi, having taken a couple of donuts in Chicago versus DePaul as an underclassman, so there’s precedent for him choking in front of friends and family. Of course he doesn’t play that well east of the Mississippi either, so there’s that. (Astute fans will note that SJU is currently projected in the Midwest bracket, which does not bode well for Phil’s post season.) Greene did have 8 rebounds though, and 7 the game before that. So PG4 can rebound, who knew: evidently all this time it was just a lack of effort. I’m looking forward to seeing what other heretofore hidden skills Phil will display in the waning weeks of his career. Perhaps he can play defense or maybe he’s an excellent passer. It’s like peeling back the skin of an onion … Chris Obekpa had two points and 4 blocks and seems to be hobbled and seems to have aggravated his hobble late in the game. Like most things he does his injury is accompanied by histrionics – last night after seemingly tweaking an ankle he limped down the court grimacing and took himself out of the game, the latter for not the first time this year. Perhaps his injury is more severe than has been let on, but since his coach is not shy about exaggerating his players physical difficulties that’s hard to believe. Must be serious though because Harrison is about as banged up as a player can be and he never asks out of a game … Amir Amiroveckovich committed four fouls in eight minutes. Also, he dyed his hair, although whether from his natural color or to I have no way of knowing. Anyone who’s seen him in the locker room, let me know if the curtains match… Felix Balamou did not play, which is odd, because according to astute SJU fans he might as well have been recruited by Johnnie Calamari or Mike Kryszruski as Lavin. Evidently SJU has some of the most coveted walk ons and bench players in Division One.

NOTES: Not too many, which is good news for those who have been emailing to complain that these things are running long. Rest assured that I’ll take those complaints seriously, as a short attention span is a sure sign of high intelligence … The game was called by Brian Anderson and Tarik Turner. Anderson is part of the Milwaukee Brewers broadcasting team that was recently named the 8th best broadcasting unit in major league baseball. Unfortunately, last night he was calling a basketball game. Turner was his usual babbling idiot self. Of Dom Pointer Turner said “His versatility is special to watch,” an amalgam of illogic and garbled syntax worthy of Norm Crosby or Professor Irwin Corey. He also said that Saint John’s was running an “offensive clinic,” which is an interesting choice of words to describe a team that shot 39 percent from the floor and 50 percent from the FT line. Perhaps that was the sort of clinic Turner attended when he was a youth, which would explain his college career. For those of you who’ve forgotten it Turner’s teams at SJ were 14-14, 11-16, 13-14 and 22-10 – the last year outlier was when Fran brought in Colin Charles and sat Turner down most of the season. Despite being one-third of the most heralded recruiting class in Saint John’s history, Turner appeared in one NCAA tournament game, a loss to Detroit … Mark it zero. This is a league game Smokey