Category Archives: Coach Third Choice

Onward and Downward, Dawg

Presented without comment, Mike Anderson’s career record across time

UAB 89–41 (.685)
Miss 111–57 (.661)
Ark 169–102 (.624)
SJU 23–21 (.523)

Okay I lied, I have a comment. Coach Homerun is trending plummeting downward. I’d say we’re rapidly approaching Willie Mays getting plonked on the head after circling under a fly ball in center field circa 1973 except Willie Mays was one of the greatest baseball players who ever lived, whereas Mike Anderson is Jeff Capel’s idea of a good idea, and Jeff Capel is an imbecile. If only shovel-faced AD Mike Cragg had called former NBA superstars Cherokee Parks or Shavlik Randolph for advice,  things might have turned out differently. Oh well.

True Recruiting Lies

Evidently Saint John’s will this weekend be hosting a JUCO called Isaih Moore, and no that’s not a typo, that’s how he spells his name. And even more evidently I’ve never heard of him before three minutes ago because who cares about recruiting. But it seems that Isaih is a 6’10” 180 pound 2-star recruit who in limited minutes last year at College of Charleston shot 40 percent from the floor, 60 percent from the free throw line and averaged nearly a third of a rebound a game. As such he sounds exactly like the sort of recruit Coach Iron Mike Anderson and his cadre of tireless assistants are going to be able to coach up to challenge Jay Wright for dominance in the BE and I hope he commits this weekend and maybe after that has a bag of White Castle or something because he seems a tad skinny. Tarik Owens weighed 205 for goodness sake and he got thrown around like a rag doll.

The reason for my post though isn’t to bury Isaih or even praise him. It’s to note that when Isaih was at C of C he last November lit up a team called PC for 13 points and 5 rebounds in 19 minutes and I was like whoa, he lit up PC as in Providence College like that, the PC coached by Ed Cooley’s diseased head, that PC?  Well no. It turns out that the PC he lit up is a place called Presbyterian College in Columbia South Carolina, a first year division one program, and this PC’s nickname is the BLUE HOSE and their college slogan is BE A BLUE HOSE and their alumni weekend slogan is COME HOME BLUE HOSE which weekend they advertise this way on their official college website:

 

Having considered these hose carefully I think I’d marry the one on the left because she looks like she can cook, kill the two hose in the middle because they have terrifying smiles and bang the one on the right because she looks enough like Jamie Lee Curtis so that if I squinted I could pretend I was railing Laurie Strode, especially if I was wearing a hockey mask.