You Go Lowes, I Get High

 

So I was wandering this afternoon through a Home Depot 300 or so miles from Queens down an otherwise deserted aisle and coming towards me was some oblivious guy in a SJU sweatshirt identical to the one I was wearing and when he got within range I said “what are the odds” and he looked at me like I’d asked him for a blowjob and I pointed to my sweatshirt and was like, see, we’re wearing the same sweatshirt and he was like, yeah, we’re wearing the same sweatshirt and he mumbled something about how they needed a win tonight like I was a homeless bum who asked him for a quarter and I was like motherfucker do you know who I am, I’m fun you fucking motherfucker I’m a famous saint john’s fan and you’re a peasant  in the presence of fucking royalty and then he called security and I was escorted from the building but not before I purchased a couple of lovely house plants and two box cutters, because you can never be too safe.

Malik on Fleek

This week Big East Boards got a chance to catch up with Malik Ellison, son of former #1 draft pick Pervis Ellison, who left St John’s two years ago looking for a bigger role at the D1 level.

When asked why he transferred Malik said that he felt underappreciated and ill-used at St John’s and thought that the pastures would be greener at Pitt, where “[Coach] told me I would pretty much be all over the place, one to three really. Just basically just being a leader. That’s the main thing, being a leader, really just leading by example and running the team.”

No one would dispute that Malik has leadership skills, but who he’s leading where is an open question: in four years of college at two schools Ellison has amassed a combined conference record of 10 wins and 60 losses. And as for being “all over the place,” that would be true if all over the place comprised sitting on the bench, as Malik has been doing during Pitt’s current 13-game losing streak, which has seen him average about three points in 10 minutes per game , as opposed to nearly seven points and 20 minutes per game at St John’s.

Still, Malik remains optimistic. Despite shooting this year a whopping 10 percent from three and 50 percent from the free throw line Malik maintains that “I’m actually a pretty good shooter” and has no regrets about his decision to transfer from the NCAA bound Red Storm, citing coach Capel’s opinion that “I could really flourish in his system.”

Next Week: What Ever Happened to Elijah Holifield.

 

Blow Me

Presented without comment

SJU TOTAL FTS

137-254 (L)( -117)
158-154 (W)(+4)
———–
295-408 (-113)

FTS BY MONTH

December = 18-25 = -7
January = 120-159 = -39
February = 122-149 = -27
March = 33-75 = -42

Dec

18-25 (SH)(L)(a)

Jan

24-18 (MU)(W)
25-33 (GT)(W)(a)
8-22 (VU)(L)(a)
6-28 (DP)(L)
18-4 (CU)(W)
20-20 (BU)(L)(a)
17-19 (GU)(L)
4-15 (CU)(W)(a)

Feb

16-25 (MU)(W)(a)
17-28 (PU)(L)
20-10 (BU)(W)
33-24 (VU)(W)
18-37 (PU)(L)(a)
18-25 (SH)(W)

Mar

5-33 (XU)(L)
28-42 (DP)(L)(a)

FTS HOME/AWAY

137-219 (A) = -82
158-189 (H) = -30

FTS BY TEAM

Butler(w) 10-20
Butler (L) 20-20
———–
SJ -10

CU (w) 18-4
CU (w) 4-15
———–
SJ +3

DePaul (L) 6-28
DePaul (L) 28-42
———–
SJ -36

GT (w) 25-33
GT (L) 17-19
————
SJ -10

MU (w) 24-18
MU (w) 16-25
———–
SJ – 3

PU (L) 17-28
PU (L) 18-37
————
SJ -30

SH (W) 18-25
SH (L) 18-25
————
SJ – 14

VU (L) 8-22
VU (W) 33-24
———-
SJ -5

Xavier (L) 33-5
————
SJ – 28

 

Send it in jerome

I went back to look at what I wrote last year after the season ended as it did this year when Xavier kicked the shit out of St John’s Thursday afternoon at Madison Square Garden and the similarities are eerie. Last year St John’s beat Georgetown in the 8/9 game Wednesday and got pummeled by the number one seed in the next round, which game I fast forwarded through the last ten minutes of, sober. Uncanny. Other similarities include my disinclination to rehash the game and the appendage of some lame existential ramblings at the end. So at least you have something to look forward to.

Regarding the season, obviously it was a disappointment. It started out well enough – I know it’s hard to remember back that far but St John’s was at one point 10-2, having lost only to Missouri (currently 20-11) and then # 16 Arizona State (also currently 20-11). Fans were checking plane schedules to Charlotte, where St John’s was a projected 10 seed and calling on all the wiles they’d honed coaching third grade girls CYO to devise a scheme to stop Tennessee’s sophomore phenom Grant Williams, Tennessee being St John’s projected first round match up. But then Marcus Lovett got a hang nail or whatever and the losing streak happened and the season imploded. And just when things couldn’t get any blacker, when had all of us given up hope, just when we thought we were out, they pulled us back in, in what might have been the most miraculous week in St John’s basketball history: beating dook at the Garden on national television and number one Villanova on their home floor, ditto. And then, having gotten our hopes up – for an NIT bid at least – they let us down, losing three of their last four, leaving themselves with the impossible task of winning four games in four days in the best college basketball conference tournament in the country, because fuck the ACC. And today we saw how that worked out. So it’s another season down the toilet. I will though say pretty definitively that taking into account the 10-2 start and dook and Villanova and the Butler double overtime game which was maybe the best most exciting St John’s basketball game I’ve ever seen – I mean probably it’s not, but it was pretty good – this has to have been the best worst basketball season of my life. So there’s that.

Before moving onto more important things, just a quick note about the scuffle that allegedly took place after today’s game. This is not the first time Xavier has nearly come to blows with its opponent. In 2011 they were involved in the so called Crosstown Shootout brawl, when Xavier and Cincinnati’s benches emptied and a brawl for the ages ensued. This past December Mick Cronin – and ask yourself how awful someone would have to be to make Mick Cronin look like a sympathetic figure – had to be restrained from attacking JP Mascara – who looks like he should be muzzled like Hannibal Lector, that’s how crazy he seems – who told Cronin several times to fuck off and invited him to suck his cock. And then today. Two things might be a coincidence. Three things is a pattern. And in each of those cases proboscis monkey looking motherfucker Chris Mack

blamed the other guy. If Mack is to believed his delicate charges are angels who play hard nosed basketball and the other guys are thugs: if you want to infer that when he and his fans call the other guys thugs they use that word because it’s impolite to call them niggers, I wouldn’t argue the point. Because you know that’s exactly what they’re thinking. The fact is that today Xavier beat a team comprising inter alia Amar Alibeowitz and a walk on whose name I can’t recall, and if you’re dunking and woofing up 30 against those guys, that belies a dearth of character and humanity and a misunderstanding of sportsmanship and college athletics. Which is not to excuse St John’s: everybody takes a beating every once in a while and it’s good if you can take it like a man. But still: fuck Xavier and fuck Chris Mack. Because karma’s a bitch. They should all die in a plane crash.

Seeing that this is the last recap of the year – and perhaps forever – I thought I’d hand out some season grades. These are on a true curve: someone gets an A and someone gets and F.

PONDS – A: Despite the fact that today he was less a Pond than a puddle, what else am I going to give him? Ponds is preternaturally talented, as good a freshman as ST John’s has had since probably his coach and potentially as good as him and Berry and everyone else all-time if he were to stay four years and I don’t say that lightly. What Ponds doesn’t have – or maybe he does and I don’t see it – is fire in his belly. I recall early in the season there was a quote of his floating around, and I paraphrase because I don’t remember it exactly, but it was to the effect that it doesn’t matter what happens this year because the money will always be there. Which is a troubling mind set. Because that quote reflects complacency and nobody who ever became anybody got to be somebody by being complacent. I kind of wrote it off when I heard it as the immature expression of an immature idea by an immature adult. Unfortunately his early season performance disabused me of that notion: the flick of the wrist 40 foot jump shots and the behind the back no look passes and the rest of the Brooklyn insouciance – all of which is reflected in his stats: 40 percent from the field and 25 percent from three and 3 turnovers a game. He’s too good to have those numbers and he’s too good to not show up like he did today and like he did against Butler in January. I can’t be arsed to look but I don’t remember Chris Mullin ever scoring two points in a game, or Walter Berry. And that’s his head and that’s his heart. That said, if he doesn’t come back next year we’re fucked. Fortunately he’s not an NBA player as currently configured and I expect he will.

SIMON – B PLUS: Simon – 12 points, seven rebounds, five assists and three steals a game – essentially had Dom Pointer’s amazing senior year – 12 points, seven rebounds, three assists, two steals – as a sophomore. If he tightens up his handle and develops a jump shot – and his isn’t pretty, although he’s at 40 percent from three for the season – he’s going to be an All-American in two years and maybe a lottery pick.

CLARK – B: not the player we were hoping for, which was a bruising power forward. Whereas he’s sort of a brobdingnagian three. That said, what he does he does well. He shoots threes at a good clip, has not a bad handle and is explosive going to the basket. He is though suspect on defense and fouls way to much – he averages a foul every ten minutes and fouled out of 10 games – but with natural improvement is on track to have a stellar senior year.

AHMED – B MINUS. Everybody hates Ahmed. I don’t. Everyone hated Jakarr Sampson too. I didn’t. Obviously he’s a flawed player. But his career stats – 12 points, 5 rebounds, 35 % three – match up favorably with any number of favorably regarded St John’s players. Willie Glass averaged 11 and 5; Shelton Jones averaged 11 and 6; Billy Goodwin averaged 13 and 5. The thing that annoyed me most about Ahmed was that he could have been better than he was: there were times that he rebounded as authoritatively as any player St John’s has in recent memory. He just didn’t do it all the time: he could have had ten rebounds a game if he cared to. And of course there was his free throw shooting, which you can’t play his game and miss four of ten free throws. Essentially James Scott lite, but I had a soft spot for James Scott.

 

OWENS – C: beats up on pre season opponents , disappears when it counts. His father might think he should shoot every time he touches the ball but I don’t. Have a fucking milk shake, it won’t kill you.

TRIMBLE – C MINUS: He’s an average freshman and I would have given him a C but for his mouthing off at Mullin last week. Good shooter, tries on defense. My own philosophy about freshmen is that they should be seen and not heard. In a real program he wouldn’t have played. Definitely a keeper and the sort of four year player every program needs.

ALIBAGOITZ – D PLUS: Some wag on a St John’s forum gave Amar a B as a season grade, which unless the B stood for bad I’ll have what he’s having, and that’s on top of what I’ve had. The gem of Steve Lavin’s 2015 recruiting class has had four years to learn how to play basketball and for the most part has not. Yeah he played well the last couple of games and maybe he could have contributed more this season but let’s face it, he stinks: his greatest skill on the basketball court is waving a towel. So in conclusion: on the way out don’t let the door hit you and take the stench of the Lavin years with you.

YAKWE – D: It’s a good thing this blog only goes back a couple of years because I spent a good portion of Yawke’s freshman year raving about his play and his potential and reading today what I wrote then would be embarrassing and I don’t embarrass easily. I don’t know what happened to him and at this point I don’t really care. Clearly he has a foot out the door and the rest of him following that foot would be best for all involved. I still think that in the right environment against lesser competition – a mid major program like Iona for example – he could be a contributor.

LOVETT – F MINUS: I’m currently reading Dante’s Divine Comedy, which I’ve never read – which I mention not because I’m a pretentious fuck, although probably I am – but to make a circuitous point. The Comedy is one of those books that’s considered a classic that almost no one reads, like The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (which is too long), Finnegans Wake (which is gibberish) and the Origin of Species (which is hokey pseudo science, in which Darwin postulates that if the theory of evolution is true – and it isn’t, the theory of evolution is slightly less believable than a literal interpretation of the Bible – that future generations will find evidence of transitional species in the fossil record, of which there isn’t any and what there is is made up). Anyway I found a nice old copy with crazy old William Blake’s illustrations


at a book sale a while ago and it’s been sitting on my shelf forever and I decided this winter to slog my way through it, which I’ve been doing a canto or so a day. (For those of you scoring at home a canto is essentially a long boring poem.) Comedy is Dante’s narration of a guided tour of Hell given to him by the poet Virgil. At the center of hell is Satan – makes sense – and surrounding Beelzebub in concentric circles – each circle corresponding to a deadly sin – are his minions and sinners and the closer they are to him in hell the worse they were on earth. Towards the outside are not so bad deadly self-directed sins – lust, gluttony, wrath – and further down heretics and tyrants and sodomites and sorcerers, all of whom were bad actors whose actions were directed outwards. Nearest Satan are the worst sinners who he reckons were for example Cain, who invented murder when he slew his brother Abel; Judas, who betrayed the Baby Jesus; and the prophet Muhammad, who caused the schism between his followers and the one true god (let me add a hasty allegedly to that, lest I get my head cut off.) Anyway I bring this all up to note that if St John’s had a ninth level of Hell Marcus Lovett would be its newest resident. (Other residents include Mike Jarvis, Chris Obekpa, Abe Keita, and Lou Alcindor. To those of you who are surprised that I don’t have Lavin there, Lavin was merely stupid, needy and incompetent, none of which is a sin.) Because Lovett blew this season up through self interest and greed. I have no problem with a kid doing what’s best for himself but I have absolutely no doubt that Marcus Lovett doesn’t know what’s best for himself and the best proof of that is that he’s having his career managed by Marcus Lovett Sr, a developmentally disabled stage mother with a near moron IQ. No doubt Marcus will go on to a lucrative career playing basketball for money in Europe and god bless him but if I were the general manager of a basketball team and someone came to me and said I have a 6 foot 180 pounds guard with suspect knees who falls over every time he takes a jump shot I’d take a pass, but as I noted last time you’ll never get anywhere underestimating the stupidity of the other guy.

MULLEN MULLIN – C PLUS: It should be a C but it’s Chris Mullin, so I bumped him up half a grade. Obviously the results were not what any of us would have hoped and you are what your record says you are. That aside, he looks active and engaged on the sidelines and he did a good job holding his team together in adverse circumstances – as bad as things got his players never quit on him and he never quit on them. Although he’s been recruiting well and strategy is overrated he probably nonetheless needs to adjust his staff a bit: Matt can’t be the only guy out there recruiting and having no one on the staff with college basketball experience can’t be helpful. Someone like Mark Gottfried, currently floating around the D league might be a good fit. Next year’s a big one. I hope Chris Mullin’s up to it. And because he’s Chris Mullin I’d wouldn’t bet against him. PS, there’s been talk this year about Mullin riding the referees. Today I hear d him say a couple of things I found hilarious: first, when Ahmed was given a foul in the first half that was Trimble’s he said something like you can’t identify the right player because there was no foul in the first place. The other time he was jawing at John Gaffney – who I know it doesn’t seem possible but he makes Pat Driscoll look like Solomon – and he said “If you had a feel for the game it would fucking help. It’d really fucking help.” Which yes it would, absolutely, but maybe that’s not something you want to say to their faces.

So that’s that. We have all of us survived another disappointing college basketball season and are now one more disappointing college basketball season closer to death. (I told my dentist the last time I had my tooth cleaned that according to actuarial tables every time I visit him I’m 2 percent closer to death than I was the last time I saw him and that every time I see him that two percent creeps closer to 5 percent and then soon enough it will be creeping closer to ten. He laughed but the hygienist looked at me weird, but she’s new. She’ll come around eventually, they all do.) I don’t know what the future holds: whether I’ll be alive next year or if so whether I’ll have the energy to do this again and if I have the energy to do this again you’ll have the energy to put up with it. In the meanwhile, enjoy the Kentucky Derby, work on your tan, shoot off some fireworks, and stuff your fat faces with as many lobster rolls as you can washed down with Brooklyn IPAs. I’m out of here. See you in the funny papers.

Rhode Apples

GAME: If you’d asked me yesterday whether I’d be writing about St John’s 61-57 loss to Ed Cooley’s diseased head on Saturday afternoon I’d have responded with a responding No. Or more accurately “helsch noosch,” as I had about 17 martinis in me by then. This morning though I find myself with some thoughts rattling around the brain pan and I know from experience that they’ll continue rattling around in there until I excise them. First is the obvious: without their best player and with a walk on playing significant minutes St John’s put a pretty good scare in a senior laden projected 11 seed on their home floor on Senior Day. Not quite a moral victory but pretty remarkable nonetheless. And in fact had Marvin Clark exerted one or two more nanojoules on a three that he front rimmed with St John’s down 50-47 with two minutes left the outcome might have been different, because Providence looked to be looking to give the game away. Whether they were playing down to their competition or St John’s was playing up to theirs or whether St John’s record isn’t what their record says they are depends I guess on your your perspective. Mine is that they’re better than their record says they are: that absent some player defections (Lovett and Wilson) and some inexplicable awful early season performances (a 20-point home loss to Providence; a 20-point home loss to DePaul) and a bounce here or there (the double OT loss to Georgetown) they’d be firmly on the tournament bubble. Which is pretty remarkable considering the circumstances. That’s not to minimize the disaster that this season has turned out to be and especially the losing streak, but to put it in perspective. Barring a miracle in the BE tournament losing three out of their last four makes them I think a long shot for an NIT bid but on the bright side I think they’ve assured themselves a pretty good seed in the CBI, if there is a CBI any more. Because even if they beat Georgetown Wednesday night – not out of the realm of possibility if Ponds plays, but as bad as Georgetown is they’re a bad match-up, that 12 hour turn around is a lot to overcome. If not, wait till next year bums.

PLAYERS: Justin Simon had 13 points, nine assists and six rebounds but that was overshadowed by his ten turnovers. I realize he’s a natural three playing point guard but that doesn’t excuse the cavalcade of boneheaded passes he threw and it’s not like its the first time: he’s good for three or four a game. For the record the record this year for turnovers a game belongs to Trae Young, the projected number one pick in the NBA draft. Which puts Simon in some pretty good company. … Clark had 14 points and six rebounds before fouling out for the ninth time this year. That might be a record too but I can’t be arsed to look it up … Oft maligned Bashir Ahmed had his usual game: 12 points, seven rebounds and three steals; I predict that next year some of you will think at some point, wow I wish Bashir Ahmed had had another year of eligibility …. Tariq Owens had 12 points, all of them in the first half … Amar Alibegiwitz – the gem of Steve Lavin’s 2104 recruiting class, a class which comprised Amar and Keith Thomas, whose forged transcript was passed to a Lavin assistant in a darkened parking lot by a since convicted felon – finally fulfilled the promise he showed when I pronounced him as potentially the best white player at St Johns since Phil Missere: he played yeoman’s defense and didn’t embarrass himself too badly on offense. I take back every bad thing I ever said about him except a couple of the really egregious ones. In all seriousness, one of the things I don’t understand about how Mullin has gone about things this year is his not being able to steal a few minutes here and there with Amar and Yawke. Yes, they stink. But as a teacher you’re supposed to find ways to get the best out of even your worst students. Here I think Mullin failed miserably …. Speaking of Yawke he did not play, coach’s decision. Ostensibly he had some sort of gastrointestinal issue, but he sat on the bench the whole game and unless his diaper was full and he changed it at half time he didn’t look to be in great distress …. Brian Trimble played two minutes, got yanked for missing a defensive assignment and was never heard from again. Scuttlebutt has it that in a fit of pique he refused to go back in the game thereafter; to quote Bartleby  the Scrivener, “I would prefer not to,” he said. Which if that’s the case, kid’s today. Imagine being a chubby three star recruit who’s privileged to be sitting ten feet away from two of the greatest basketball players who ever lived who are mentoring you in your chosen profession and you defy their authority because you’re butthurt. The mind boggles. When Chris Obekpa refused Steve Lavin’s invitation to enter an NIT game in 2014, that I could understand: Obekpa was a grinning sociopath and Lavin a buffoon worthy of no one’s respect. Trimble on the other hand seems like a good kid who was this year given an opportunity beyond his current abilities and Chris Mullin is Chris Mullin. My immediate reaction was: if what allegedly happened happened, don’t let the door hit you, because you abandoned your team mates and defied the coach’s authority, which if this was war time he’d have been shot for it. This isn’t war time though, it’s university and in light of day shooting him seems a bit drastic, as does revoking his scholarship. What doesn’t seem drastic is having his fat ass run up and down the bleachers until he pukes … Someone called Justin Cole performed admirably in his stead.

NOTES: I watched the game with good old missus fun, who had a couple of comments worth noting. First she asked why, if Ed Cooley goes to the trouble of having his shirts custom made he doesn’t go to the trouble of doing something about the back of his head. He could shave it she said, or get a piece or use some of that spray-on hair. To that I had no answer, except that perhaps he doesn’t care what people think of him when he’s leaving, only when he’s arriving. She also requested that I fast forward through the half time show, because “life’s too short to listen to Steve Lavin.” And having evidently caught up on her reading she asked whether I was really going to retire after this season and looked vaguely disappointed when I said that that was my current mindset. I’d like to think that she enjoys reading my ramblings but in truth I think she looks forward to my retiring to the library for a couple of hours three times a week, because believe it or not I can sometimes be a bit of a long day. There was a time when she’d have looked forward to our spending more quality time together. Alas, it seems those days are gone.

A couple of weeks ago in the midst of St John’s losing streak Post beat writer Zach Braziller – and this is not to take a gratuitous shot at Braziller, but to piggy back on something I wrote last time about the shortcomings of real time expression of half formed thoughts  – tweeted that there were myriad issues plaguing the program, including “coaching.” As bored as I am by the anti-Mullin contingent in various SJU fan forums at least they’re consistent: they slam Mullin whether he beats Dook or loses to DePaul. This though I thought cheap and opportunistic, because ZB wasn’t criticizing Mullin’s coaching when the team was 10-2. When I pressed ZB, asking him what exactly were Mullin’s shortcomings he back peddled, claiming that I’d taken what he said out of context. Which I hadn’t but whatever. Yesterday Brazziller tweeted that “With a minute left, St. John’s trailed by 5 and opted not to foul. These are the kind of late-game decision that we’ve seen all year and are perplexing.” Now, is that really perplexing? You’re down two possessions with 60 seconds left. If you foul and they make their free throws you’re down three possessions with 60 seconds left. How does that improve your prospects for winning? To me if you’re down five with 60 seconds left – and remember that SJU came back from down five just this week with 15 seconds left – you play aggressive defense and hope for a steal or a stop: it’s not like Dean Smith’s out there running the four corners, there’s a shot clock. I’m not saying that’s the only strategy there is, but it’s hardly perplexing. What was perplexing to me was not taking a shot down the court down four with four seconds left. Probably Providence wouldn’t have offered any resistance, but maybe, just maybe Providence has a player as dumb as the many players St John’s has who’ve fouled the three point shooter in the waning seconds of a basketball game and maybe they get lucky. Because – and you might want to write this down – you’ll never get anywhere in life underestimating the stupidity of the other guy. Personally I think the criticism of Mullin’s coaching over blown: it’s not the coaching people don’t like, it’s the system. The same fans who’ve been lamenting for years the walk it up the floor offense St John’s has played since times antediluvian are now when confronted with an NBA style of play pining for Carmine Calzonetti running Lou’s half court offense. Well, I’m not. I mean sure Mullin’s no Mike Schrewshrenski or Doug McDermott’s father, but there’s not a lot of geniuses in the coaching ranks. What I see when I see Mullin on the sidelines is an engaged coach doing the best he can under the circumstances – some of which are his fault, sure. But what I’m most struck by is that he looks like he’s having a good time, despite the results. He looks happy. I think he looks happy because he loves St John’s basketball and his happiness makes me happy, because so do I.

Heart Attack

I wrote a week ago that St John’s had an NIT bid in their sights and that with four games left we’d see what they were made of. They promptly lost two straight and I nearly started my last post saying that we’d seen it. Turns out we hadn’t. Wednesday night is when we saw what they were made of, when St John’s beat projected #8 seed Butler in double over time 75-68 at Carnesecca Arena, and this absent their two best players, Shamorie Ponds, out with a stomach strain, and Marcus Lovett, who quit the team a month ago due to unexplained uterine complications. I rehash the doings only for the benefit of missus fun, who fell asleep at halftime. St John’s went on a 9-0 run between the end of the first half the beginning of the second to take a 12 point lead with 15 minutes left. Led by some trailer park wife beater looking white guy called Jorgensen – as an aside why do so many white players look and act crazy: Grayson Alan, JP Mascara, Eric Devendorf, Jason Williams, Trevor Cooney, this Jorgensen guy, it wouldn’t surprise me if they discovered a girl bound in duct tape covered in bite mark in the trunk of any of their air-foil equipped Ford Escorts – came back to to take a five point lead with 15 seconds left. When something close to a miracle happened: after a Clark three Butler tried to throw a home run ball on the in bounds play. The pass went long and just as it was about to go out of bounds Kelan Martin saved the ball off Marvin Clark, who was already standing out of bounds. Butler ball. But wait – and here comes the miracle – replays showed that Martin’s foot was out of bounds and the refs made the correct call: they reversed themselves and awarded St John’s possession. Here’s a screen cap that clearly shows the player’s foot out of bounds.

SJ scored and survived a buzzer three. Overtime. SJU went out to a six point lead in OT and Butler came back to tie. Double overtime. Which was all St John’s and mostly Justin Simon. That performance would have been remarkable under any circumstances. That it occurred on Senior Night in front of the venerable Lou Carnesecca on his name sake court with Shamorie Ponds on the bench was really one for the ages.

<interlude>

One of my guilty pleasures is re reading the game threads on St John’s forums in which posters record their real time impressions of what’s transpiring on the floor. It’s a pleasure because many posters are not very cogent with time to reflect and collect their thoughts and these comments are off the cuff and it’s guilty because it feeds my mean spiritedness and contempt, which is inapposite to my goal of compassion and empathy. Here’s my favorite from last night, from a poster who I will charitably refrain from naming:

“Simon not impressive tonight . Lots of turnovers . Still could not score enough or defend at Crunch time . No moral victories . We need players like Jorgensen , Rowsey , Machura.”

So to recap: Justin Simon – who played the entire 50 minutes out of position, who scored 24 points on 9 of 16 from the floor and 6 of 7 from the line, who had 10 rebounds, five assists, and four steals, he was not impressive and what St John’s needs is more white players who look like they have female sex slaves chained up in their crawl spaces.

</interlude>

So where does that leave us. Right on the NIT bubble. On the bad side of ledger is their record: a couple of those early season bad losses – DePaul and Georgetown in particular – might come back to bite them in the ass. On the good side: #9 SOS, #82 RPI, signature wins against projected number one and two seeds, a electric player in Shamorie Ponds, and access to the number one media market in the United States. If we’ve learned anything this week it’s that the NCAA is like the mafia: Always the dollars. Always the fuckin’ dollars. You have to think that given the opportunity to invite St John’s as opposed to say the 21-9 Lipscomb Bisons or the 24-6 Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks, they might opt for New York’s team. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. Because I’m an optimist.

Bashir Ahmed – one of the more maligned players in recent SJ history – might have saved his best game for senior night: 22 points, six rebounds and two assists. Ahmed’s started every game of his two year career, averaging 12 points and five rebounds. By way of comparison Shelton Jones averaged 11 and 6 and Charles Minlend averaged 12 and 7. Obviously that’s not an apples to apples comparison and obviously Ahmed’s a flawed player – most players are – but neither do I think the opprobrium heaped upon him entirely justified. When I turned on the DVR I thought Alibqowitz was starting because it was senior night and I thought oh what a nice gesture, get him out of there. It turned out he was starting because he was starting and considering how little he’s played he responded pretty well: six rebounds and only two fouls in 43 minutes. The game though was really a microcosm of his career, and specifically when he fouled a three point shooter in the first over time with SJ up three. I thought it was a bull shit foul but whatever. Amar is a dumb untalented player and as the last remnant of the Lavin years it’s time to exit stage right. Clark had 20 points and four rebounds: he hit a huge three at the end of regulation and made his free throws in OT. Owens had nine points, eight rebounds and three blocks but six TOs. There are rumors floating around that he’s going to leave after this year, presumably to greener pastures where he can shoot every time he touches the ball, as his father think he ought. I don’t see that happening unless he wants to transfer to a mid major like Iona. Trimble and Yawke scored zero points between them in 21 minutes.

I’m not going to shit on the referees as is my wont if for no other reason than they got the foot on the line call right. Oddly though St John’s shot only one free throw in the first half, as compared to Butler’s seven. This was understandable because SJ was getting after it on defense – and their defense last night was astounding, as good as they’ve played all year. What was odd though was that St John’s shot 21 free throws in the second half and OT to Butler’s five: St John’s was in the bonus by the 12 minute mark but had only five fouls against them at the end of regulation.

The game was called by Wally Szczerbiak and Brent Stover, the voice of the Chicago Sky of the NBA. Maybe it was the way things turned out but I can’t think of anything bad to say about them. Szczerbiak waxed nostalgic about St John’s and how much he loved playing in gyms like Alumni Hall and how great the atmosphere was and how he learned to shoot while his father – ABA player Walter Szczerbiak – played pick up games against Chris Mullin and Walter Berry and the like. What he didn’t explain was why he went to Miami to play for Herb Sendek instead of to Queens to play for Brian Mahoney, although in retrospect he clearly made a wise decision.

So that’s that. No notes or interesting anecdotes. Regarding what I wrote last time several of you have inquired (this is actually true) asking if I was serious about retiring and yes I’m serious about retiring. I’m bored – I can’t even be bothered to Bing pictures of near naked women, that’s how bored I am – and even if you can’t tell I can: the quality of what I’m writing is steadily diminishing; I’m surprised anyone still reads it. I mean sure I have my moments but the wheat is increasingly hidden by the chaff. And you can find chaff and pictures of near naked women anywhere.

 

Round up the usual suspects

St John’s lost to Seton Hall in over time Saturday afternoon 81-74, dropping them under .500 and back into last place in the BE. (Last place I can live with, but .500 is a big number: only one SJ team in the past sixty years has failed to garner an invitation to the NIT with a non-losing record.) Once again at this point absent the win it was all you could hope for: a fun and exciting game to watch. I think I might even have sat up in my seat at one point. Neither team played particularly well and I’m not much in the mood to rehash it, and certainly not 24 hours later. On the bright side there’s only two games to go and only a couple more of these stupid things to write after which I’m retiring. As Donny Marshall’s terrifying eyebrows noted yesterday, when you get to the end of your career you want to play every minute so I’m really relishing this one. Not.

Ponds had 25 points and six assists, most of that in the second half. Came within a bunt hair of stealing he ball at midcourt on the Hall’s last possession, which if he had would have been reminiscent of Hatten’s steal versus dook that I referenced a couple of posts ago. But he didn’t, because he’s no Marcus Hatten, not yet anyway. And while I understand wanting him to have the ball in his hands at the end of games I don’t really understand all the standing around and pointless dribbling that went on the last ten minutes or so. If I wanted to watch standing around and pointless dribbling I’d watch old tapes of Phil Greene. Marvin Clark doubled doubled (19 and 10) including a couple of thunderous dunks, which I didn’t know I had it in him. Ahmed had 12 and six but missed a huge free throw and a bunny off a very nice pass from Ponds. Simon (8/4/5) threw his usual contingent of boneheaded passes, Trimble shot poorly, and Owens was once again relatively pointless before fouling out. I find it hard to believe that Yawke didn’t play at all because usually he shows up against Delgado and his team mates are clearly worn down at the end of games. Lou used to find minutes for dopey Paul Berwanger and pointless Tom Weadock and he had a full contingent of players. Whereas this team has no front court to speak of and what little it has doesn’t take off its warm ups. I don’t get it.

I hate to keep harping on the same thing but once again the officials were atrocious, mostly John Gaffney. It wasn’t just the free throw differential – Seton Hall shot twice as many as did St John’s in regulation, during which 40 minutes four St John’s players played about 130 and shot a single free throw between them. Of the other 12 three came on a single shot by Ponds and five others in the last six minutes (counting over time), and meanwhile Miles Powell and Kadeem Carrington scored more from the FT line than that by themselves. The real issue was the respect afford Angel Delgado, who if he fails to make it in the NBA, he should become a hit man, because he gets away with murder. He routinely travels. He routinely jumps over guys backs (the one time it was called was in over time with St John’s down three and he conveniently fouled Bashir Ahmed, which if anyone thought he was going to hit the front end of that one and one he wasn’t). He routinely gives players fore arm shivers. On one play he lowered his shoulder and knocked Tariq Owens into the third row; surprisingly Owens was not called for a foul and according to Mullin the refs told him that Owens had flopped, which if that was a flop the Titanic flopped when it got hit by the iceberg. On one loose ball under the basket he seemed to be punching Bashir Ahmed in the head in an attempt to recover possession. And most egregiously he routinely plants himself in the lane to the extent that I’m surprised he did not sprout roots. Before I stopped rewinding and timing him Delgado committed three three second violations – one of six seconds and one of seven seconds and one, unbelievably, of 11 seconds: that one was between 10:10 and 9:59 in the first half and you can check the video tape if you don’t believe me. I find it impossible to believe that stupid John Gaffney can see Ahmed set a phantom moving pick through a forest of players from the other side of the court but that he failed to notice a seven foot 250 pound guy standing under the basket for ten seconds at a time. If he’s wasn’t on the take he might as well have been.

The big news this week obviously was the revelation – and I use that term loosely, because it’s like saying that this week there was a revelation that water is damp – that various successful college basketball programs – and some unsuccessful ones – cheat. Some suspects are obvious: no one’s surprised for example that Kentucky cheats or LSU, they’re in the SEC, the only surprise there is that there are evidently some SEC programs that don’t cheat. The surprise is the blue bloods that were mentioned – not that they cheat but that they were mentioned: Duke and Mike Schrewshrenski, North Carolina and Roy Williams, Michigan State and Tom Izzo, even Villanova and classy Jay Wright. Jay Wright, imagine! To put that in perspective schools currently on NCAA probation include the Mississippi Valley State University men’s and women’s cross country teams, Lamar University men’s golf and the entire athletic program at Kalamazoo College. Meanwhile Syracuse was given two years probation for 20 years of violations and Louisville three for operating an on campus brothel.

Weirder still are the bad teams that cheat and still stink: it calls to mind Mike Jarvis paying Abe Keita. Case in point is rat faced Kevin Willard, who sold his soul for Isiah Whitehead and still has yet to have won an NCAA tournament game. Which in turn calls to mind Sir Richard Rich, whose perjury condemned Thomas More to the guillotine in exchange for which Rich was named attorney general of an obscure British protectorate: “Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. But for Wales?” Never mind Wales, but for New Jersey?

On the one hand it’s heartening that every one involved is so cynical that they can’t even be bothered to act surprised. (I am shocked — shocked — to find that gambling is going on in here.). Nearly every report I read and heard this weekend – except for that shameless whore Dick Vitale, who claimed on Twitter last week that Rick Pitino was an innocent set upon by disloyal staff – said essentially, yeah, everyone cheats and everyone knows that everyone cheats and it is what it is: that corruption is baked into the system. Which to a certain extent is true – college basketball has been beset by a variety of scandals going back to the fifties, some of it mundane (“Did I ever tell you about the points we were shaving up in Boston?”) to the sort of activities that led to Jack Molinas being assassinated in Las Vegas. But those things were always anomalies. Today the corruption in ubiquitous and mundane.

Over on ESPN resident intellectual Jay Bilas – let’s face it it’s not hard to be the smartest guy in the room if you’re in a room with Stephen A Smith and Tony Kornheiser – floated, as he always does this time of year, the idea of paying what he blithely terms student athletes. Let’s leave aside for the moment Bilas’s utter hypocrisy: he makes millions of dollars commentating on teenagers who he claims are being horribly exploited, which if as we are sometimes led to believe the NCAA is akin to slavery, that makes Jay Bilas the play by play guy for the diaspora. Leave aside that he played for dewk – as dirty a program as there is, Myron Piggie to the white courtesy telephone – benefiting from their cachet while simultaneously whitewashing (sic) their criminal behavior. Leave aside that he works for a network that makes billions dollars from that same corrupt enterprise, an enterprise that the network itself helped create through slavish shrill deafening hype, routinely lauding the exploits of known cheaters like John Calipari and hiring known cheaters like Mike Jarvis to glad hand on camera with criminals like Sonny Vaccaro. It’s really quite stunning when you think about it.

So anyway what Bilas seems to be saying is that there’s this giant corrupt criminal enterprise known as college basketball and the way to make it less corrupt is to let more people in on the corruption. To let a few more people wet their beaks as it were. That seems at once an absurd solution – you wouldn’t make robbing banks legal because people rob banks – and yet a logical one from a libertarian perspective: the way to eliminate common relatively harmless crimes like marijuana use and prostitution is to decriminalize those behaviors. The problem though is that the kids who are going to be wetting their beaks are allegedly attending university to learn how to behave in the world and lead happy productive lives. Teaching them that cheating gets rewarded seems inapposite to that, in a way that seeing Sean Miller and Rick Pitino in handcuffs might not be.

The other issue is logistics. Who gets paid? How much do they get paid? Do starters get paid more than walk ons? Is their a salary cap? Do all sports participate? Do women’s lacrosse players get the same stipend as Alabama football players? (“No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be … denied the benefits of … any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.”) And who ensures compliance, the same corrupt NCAA that currently oversees the morass that the solution is intended to ameliorate? And leaving that boondoggle aside, how would any of this stop a kid from accepting benefits above and beyond the mandated stipend? The answer is that it wouldn’t. The only benefit I see is that it would sweep the corruption back under the rug, which I don’t know maybe that’s where it belongs. And if a couple of kids lives get ruined along the way – like say Luther Wright or poor dumb Lenny Cooke – what’s that really when compared to important things like the integrity of the game.

The center cannot hold. And neither can the point guard.